Memo to My Children: I Will Never Be Your Maid.


   Because I love you, I will never be your maid. A maid will always pick up your filthy socks and underwear, wipe up the hair you left all over the bathroom, and clean up your grungy bedroom. A servant will never pick up your filthy socks or underwear, wipe up the hair you left all over the bathroom or clean up your grungy bedroom—unless you’re too sick to DIY, you’re working and I’m not, or you’re dying.  This is because…

   A maid enables. A servant teaches.

   A maid works 9a-5p, M-F, no nights, no weekends, no holidays. A servant works 24/7, no exceptions.

   A maid murmurs and complains while working for you. A servant thanks God and prays for you while working.

   A maid doesn’t care who you hang with—as long as they don’t get mud on the carpet. A servant cares very much who you hang with and doesn’t care if they get mud on the carpet.  (You’ll clean it up later.)

   A maid doesn’t do homework, windows or change dirty diapers. A servant doesn’t do homework either (but will help you with it), supervises you while you do the windows, and won’t change your diapers either—after you’re fully potty trained.

   A maid responds to orders, demands, and commands. A servant does not respond to orders, demands or commands—at least, not in the way you’d like.

   A maid works because she has to. A servant works because she wants to

   A maid works to get paid something. A servant works to honor someone.

   A maid gets compensated with cash. A servant gets compensated with a hug.

   A maid will never do more than the Union allows. A servant will do whatever unity requires.

   A maid believes you’re worth a paycheck. A servant believes no paycheck could ever equal your worth.

   A maid quits when you get unreasonable. A servant never, never, never quits on you. 


   So, my beloved children, because I love you so much, I will never be your maid—but I’ll always be your servant. 

                                                                                                      Love, Mom




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